Saturday, December 17, 2011

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis
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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640



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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew



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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown


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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor
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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz




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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836



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